Friday, May 3, 2013

The Slap Heard Round the World


We did it.  We stepped into the realm of true parenting by hosting a birthday sleepover.  It had all been practice up til now, but this was REAL baby.

20 years in the classroom for me, plus 13 years as a parent for Ken—we got this covered, right?  The thing was scheduled in 21st century kid-sized time increments.  Food was free-flowing, games abounded.



But we forgot to tell the 7 kids to bring their own armor and battle gear. 

It started out easily enough—Ken blew through mass amounts of dough at the local carnival:  ride bracelets, food, games, prizes.  Epiczord, the birthday boy, went on the loop-de-loop.  It was the perfect milestone for 10 years.  The Princess and her friend could scam on the high school boys from a distance and Peapod scored mass tickets at the arcade simply by flashing his adorable smile at some passerbys. 

Back home, the kids wanted to film a Harlem Shake video down at the little park around the corner.  Taking their needed props (hockey stick, stuffed animals, Scream mask, etc), they headed out.  Not five minutes later, I’m getting a call from the Princess’ friend that there’s trouble in suburbia—older boys are stealing the kids’ stuff.  A skirmish has begun.  Ken blasts over there to sort it out.

Now here’s where the dilemma comes in.  Our kids sustained minor damage in the tussle--bruises and scrapes.  But vigilante justice was about to be had in the form of a ballistic Princess. 

Ken is grilling one of the middle school boys (the blond one with glasses) about why he threw our Epiczord to the ground, and our Princess is listening to his ducking and dodging the questions.  She saw him chase down her brother, grab him around the neck, and toss him onto the grass. 

She’s had enough.  She screams, “DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH MY BROTHER AGAIN!” and then hauls off and slaps him across the face so hard that the sound actually echoes in the air.  His glasses fly off.  He bursts into tears.  She bursts into tears.  Ken is stunned.  He doesn’t know whether to yell at her or applaud her. 

For Epiczord, it was the best present ever.  His sister loves him.

Needless to say, the three AM bedtime and the broken pinky toe (note to self, remove wrought iron chairs before having kids over) were minor in comparison to the slap heard round the world.

Over Voodoo donuts the next morning, all the kids had a meeting.  The results were decided.  The party was declared:  AWESOME.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNXczIFqSBw